Take a Good Look—These Exams Save Lives
During your life, you can anticipate to suffer from some kind of sexual problem. It’s true. Of course it might be a problem that's simple to solve for you, such as not being interested in sex at the same time as your partner. In this case you decide on negotiation and compromise. There are some times when the problems are stubborn; for example, some women have never had an orgasm, and some men ejaculate before they want to do it. If these or other seemingly more complicated sexual problems are touching upon your sex life, do not despond. If you
are trying strongly to improve your sexual life and get more pleasure, then you can resolve many common sexual problems on your own, or with the help of your partner.
For the problems that are most troubling, it might be time to visit a sex therapist. They're specialists in this area, and can help you get a new lease on your sex life. That's why when you make a sex, you should never be alarmed about your difficulties. Remember, sexual problems are solvable problems. Help is on the way!
Ten Steps to Orgasm
Analyze your sexual influences.
Try to define whether or not you have been unprotected to any negative messages about sex while you were growing up. Important factors to consider are sexually views of parents or an exacting religious upbringing. Also, some women who have never had an orgasm were victims of child sexual abuse, incest, or rape. If you collided with these problems, you may work with a therapist to understand how these issues could be affecting your enjoyment of sex.
2. Examine your body.
When you will be alone, you may undress... In a well-lit room, take a hand mirror and look at your vulva. (You may use flashlight if the light in the room is not bright enough.) You should lie down with your legs open and uphold your head up with pillows to get a better look. Or you could even try squatting over the mirror. Pay your attention on the each part of your genitals: your pubic hair, your labia, your vaginal entrance, your clitoris. You may think that it is a special and beautiful part of your body. Clitoris is there for only one reason: to give you pleasure and it can and will help you have an orgasm.
3. Enjoy pleasure without having a goal.
Follow the following activity to begin accepting that your body can give you pleasure. When you will be alone at night, all to yourself, take a long bubble bath with candles around the tub. Dry your body, applying lotion or powder, after you get out of the tub. Being naked, lie down on your bed, and touch your body all over. You may make a massage of your feet, your hands, and your shoulders. Hug your bosom, your waist, and your thighs. Enjoy the feelings of touching yourself. But don’t masturbate at this time, just touch yourself.
4. Learn to relax and breathe.
It is fine to be alone and naked. You may lie down, close your eyes, and concentrate on your breathing. Take ten deep breaths in and out. While you are doing this, imagine that you are in a safe, excellent place which is created only for you. Whole your body must be relaxed. You can do such relaxation every time you like.
5. Masturbate without a goal.
There are women who have never had an orgasm because they have never masturbated. Now is the time to learn to masturbate to feel good. Firstly, find at least 30-40 minutes when you can be alone. The second, repeat the relaxation, breathing, and touching exercises that I just described. Then you may start to masturbate. The most common way to masturbate is: touch your clitoris in a circular motion, and insert a finger in your vagina; massage the entire area. Touch your teats, or neck, or legs, or anywhere that feels good. At this point do not think that you are masturbating to have an orgasm. Just do it for a pleasure and voluptuous feelings.
6. Masturbate with a goal.
Inasmuch as you have learned to masturbate just to feel good, then you can begin masturbating to have an orgasm. Find at least 30-40 minutes when you can be free and alone. Repeat everything you did in the previous activity. But this time, concentrate your attention on stimulating your clitoris and pushing yourself past the point of no return. Don't stop moving until you feel as if your body is reaching some peak of sexual excitement. Keep masturbating. Increase the intensity. Don't stop. You may feel the good feelings getting more intense, then keep going until you roll those feelings beyond where you have taken them before into the feelings of orgasm.
7. Use a vibrator.
If you some problems with it, and you can’t t reach the orgasm by this method, you should start to use vibrator. Buy an electric vibrator or dildo. Hold it on your clitoris when you masturbate, and try to keep it there while you move and touch your body. Try to bring an orgasm to yourself to orgasm.
8. Involve your partner.
In case you are with your partner, repeat the relaxation and breathing activities. When you are being sexual, concentrate on how good it feels to be with him or her. Make sure that you are getting lots of clitoral stimulation. Then try to allow yourself to go beyond those feelings and to allow yourself to let go and have an orgasm.
9. Fantasize and role play.
While you masturbate or make sex with your partner, imagine that you are so sexy, so powerful woman who loves sex and who has orgasms easily. It will help you emotional to reach it. Role-play that you are very into the experience. You should move your hips, move your body, and try to behave like a sexy woman who is going to have an orgasm.
10. Let yourself go.
In order to have an orgasm, you need to let yourself go completely. You can't try to control your body. Don’t trouble about how you will look when you have an orgasm, or what sounds will utter your mouth or body. Don't worry—just let yourself go.
If you often come close, but fail to climax, you may be trying too hard. You should lose control, and let your body do whatever it is going to do. If you let your feelings flow over you, you might even orgasm faster than you would if you were “trying.”
Intercourse Without Orgasms
Some women do not have orgasms from coituses. In most cases this is function of sex than sexual problem. Here's why: During coitus, the clitoris is not always stimulated by penis, because much of the centre is on the back-and-forth motion of the penis thrusting in the vagina (the motion that the man needs to have his orgasm). In order to have an orgasm, women ought to stimulate by rubbing it, usually in a circular motion or whatever motion the woman uses when she masturbates.
In the event that a woman wants to have an orgasm during coitus, while his penis is inside her, she may need to also do one of the following:
• stimulate her clitoris with her hand or partner’s hands
• rub her pelvis against his pelvis or pubic bone to get the friction and motion she needs for an orgasm.
Premature Ejaculation
At that time some women are still trying to have their first orgasm during coitus, there are some men who wish they could control how fast they have theirs. There are men who think that they ejaculate too fast. That is not a problem if you're a man who get early ejaculation, and you and your partner are agree with this. Nevertheless, it is a problem if you're not getting satisfaction from sex because your coitus is too short or you immediately ejaculate as soon as you're inside your partner.
Many men who ejaculate before they want to may have actually learned to come quickly from an early age. They were youth, and they used to masturbate. They didn’t spend attention on feelings of masturbation itself. As a rule they masturbated secretly, maybe they tried to finish before their parents came home, or before the police knocked on the car window. Besides, many young men come quickly because sex feels so good that they do not know how to restrain it and wait a while before ejaculating.
In the event that you're a man who lades with early ejaculation and it's interfering with your sex life, you need to learn how to be more in tune with your body and your agitation, and you need to learn to recognize when you're about to ejaculate. Of course, you need to learn how to control or postpone the process. The following information should be useful to help cure early ejaculation.
5, 6, 7, 8 — Now's the Time to Stop and Wait.
You can try to cure your early ejaculation with the counting and stop-start technique. It will permit you to learn how to pin-point your level of sexual agitation, and keep it at a level that will give you pleasure without bringing you to the point of no return. In order to control ejaculation, a man must be able to appreciate the feeling before the point of no return, and relax just enough that he does not attain the point of no return until he is ready.
Your sexual excitement increases as you get closer to orgasm. First of all, you have to categorize each level; it will help you to understand how to control the level of excitement. Imagine your sexual excitement like a scale from 0 to 10. Mark “Zero” means that you don't feel any sexual arousal. Mark “Ten” would be what you feel during orgasm. Try to get your body and mind to stay at an even level of sexual excitement during sex (around level 6 or 7) without getting to the “point of no return,” which would be around level 8.
You can practice this technique while you're masturbating:
• Every time when you observe that your sexual excitement has increased, categorize each stage with a number from 0 to 10. Remember, “zero” – your feelings before you start masturbating; “ten” - orgasm. Try to compute where 6 and 7 are for you.
• When you feel like you're approaching to level 7 of sexual arousal, try to keep it down a notch, remaining at 6 so you don't lose control and reach level 8, which would put you on the edge of orgasm.
• Do stop masturbating when you reach about level 7, it the best way to do this.
Take a relaxation for 40 seconds or a minute or so. Then start again when your sexual excitement gets down to about 4 or 5. You ought to practice this at least several times every week, so that in the end you can masturbate for about 35-40 minutes without ejaculating until you're ready. Once you've mastered these counting and stop-start experiences, you can try the same sort of thing during coitus.
When you're having coitus, stop thrusting and ask your partner to stop moving for a minute until your excitement settle down a bit. Also you can change sexual positions to give yourself a little time to slow things down and pull out your penis from the vagina. During this period, it is useful to talk with your partner.
Please Me, Squeeze Me.
More successful technique is the squeeze technique. In order to do this, you still need to become presumptuous with the feelings that you get when you're close to orgasm. Then, when you're having coitus and you feel very close to the point of no return, you should stop thrusting and tell your partner not to move so that your ejaculatory reaction is not triggered. After that, you or your partner must squeeze your penis by thumb and one or two forefingers in one of two places: either at the very base, or at the ridge under the head of the penis. (See the illustration.) Putting compression in either of these places will motivate your excitement to diminution, and the feeling of getting close to ejaculation will be reduced.
If these advices are not enough to help you, then look for the help of a trained certified sex therapist. This is a very general (luckily solvable) trouble; you should not be confused to get help.
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Sexual problems
